The Holiday Letter That Never Made it to the Post Office

Dear Friends –

So, I decided to take a crack at writing one of these end-of-the-year, catching-up-with-Margie-&-Alan kind of letters. 

Looking at this blank page makes me tired.  Is it 2013 already?!  Where did 2012 go?!  I swear, I was just getting used to it hanging around and it up and leaves me.  Story of my life.

Actually, in the past when I’ve thought about writing one of these letters, I always wanted to write a complete work of fiction, filling the page with unusual adventures – “After a week’s absence back in October, I finally tracked Alan down in Columbus, where he was going by the name of ‘The Hammer’ and living in a house full of sorority girls.  He’s back home now, and we’re working things out” or “The past summer is a blur – particularly July.  I hitch-hiked down to Nogales and got arrested trying to cross back into the States with over $500 worth of Chic-lets and terra-cotta tiles.  The cute little Mexican baby in my back-pack didn’t help matters any.”

I almost feel like just leaving this letter at that.

But I won’t, because that would sort of defeat the purpose of the whole thing.

So, where to begin?  We don’t have kids, so I can’t tell you about all of their first words or first steps or funny things they said or all the awards and honors they got in school. I can’t brag about my grandbabies. But I can tell you about our cat, Sundance – 18 and a half years old and still going strong!  Or our hamster, Peanut Houdini, who makes me smile every day simply by being a hamster.

I can tell you that I really like my job teaching theatre (acting, voice & movement, directing, etc.) at OSU-Lima.  That, though Lima isn’t exactly my idea of heaven, I like the campus and my colleagues and the students.  And that, when I look around, I see nothing but potential everywhere.  I directed my first musical, “Company”, last spring, and was really proud of the cast and crew and the whole production.  I directed “The Jungle Book” this past fall, which was lots of fun – about 2000 kids saw the production, and it was fun to hear them talk about the show as they left.  I haven’t acted in a few years now, which feels a little strange, since for about 20 years, I acted a lot.  Right now, I’m o.k with not being on stage for a bit.  I imagine I’ll get back into again at some point.  Maybe when I get through menopause. (you think I’m kidding?)

Alan did two shows in Columbus this past fall (and no, he didn’t stay in a house full of sorority girls – he stayed with his mom in Lancaster, OH.  At least, that’s the story he told me).  He was in a one-act festival of new plays (which I didn’t get to see) and in a fine production of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, where he played Bob Ewell, the nasty racist.  Alan really relishes those bad-guy roles. 

I can also tell you that, for the first time in my life, I volunteered to work for a political campaign. I probably don’t have to tell you for which candidate. At first, I mostly did data entry – “phone banking” is not my thing (hell, I don’t even call YOU people, and you’re my friends).  Eventually, though, as we got closer to the election, I started canvassing, and it was a really wonderful experience.  You know, when you’re standing on someone’s front porch, neighbor to neighbor, political differences don’t seem to be that big of a deal.  “You’re leaning towards Romney?  O.K, I respect that.  I’ll make sure we take you off our list so we don’t bother you again.  Thanks so much for your time!”  People were almost always nice, even if they were not Obama supporters.  (In reality, very few people I talked to were excited about Romney – some just said “Well, I don’t really care for him that much, but he’s better than Obama”.)  But, this is a holiday letter, so no more politics here.  I’ll only say that it was nice to be even a small part of something so big and so important, and to feel like maybe I helped make a small difference.

Alan and I also started volunteering at the local Humane Society.  We are lucky that 1.) we’re renters and 2.) Sundance hates all other cats and dogs, otherwise we’d probably have a house full of animals.  I “virtually adopted” two cats at the shelter – Bob, who is a tail-less, 8 year old orange tabby who had spent his entire life at the shelter, and Keller, a one-eyed tabby kitten (she had arrived at the shelter completely malnourished, full of fleas, and with infected eyes – they could only save one eye). Both of these cats actually got adopted weeks later!  My latest “adoptions” are Trey, a chubby, black, cross-eyed cat with a beat-up ear, and Terra, a grey tabby with stubby little legs.  I’m hoping the lucky streak will continue, and these two will find homes before long.

What else to tell you?  Oh, we did a little traveling this summer and went to visit friends back east in Pennsylvania and Baltimore (a big shout out to Vicki, David, Abraham, Lisa, JP, Liz, Hannah & Dara, Holly, Joseph, Corey, & Catherine!  Hope I didn’t forget anyone…).  We made a quick little stop in NYC, where we saw “One Man, Two Guv’nors” and “Peter and the Starcatcher” – both excellent productions (though we actually missed the first half hour of “Peter” – since when do Broadway shows start at 7pm?!  Lesson learned – always look closely at your tickets).  We also made a St. Louis trip to visit family and friends, which is always a good time.

Oh – here’s a cool thing!  The Ohio State University has, in the past few years, forged a relationship with The Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford-upon-Avon.  The RSC has a program called “Stand Up for Shakespeare”, which is geared towards teaching teachers how to get their students excited about Shakespeare.  This program is geared mainly towards primary and middle school teachers, but the work is applicable for students at any level.  A few years back, the RSC came to OSU in Columbus to get the program started here in the states.  A new cohort was formed this year, and I’m part of it!  What does that mean?  It means that I just went to a two day training intensive in Columbus in November, I’ll go for another training intensive in February, and then this summer, we’ll all journey to Stratford-Upon-Avon for a full-week training intensive. I’m so excited I could just spit!  I could go on and on and talk more about this, but I won’t for now.  This letter is long enough!

So there.  There’s probably more I could tell you, but I need to get off the computer and make some cookies or wrap some presents, or watch a few more episodes of “Breaking Bad” (nothing says “Christmas” like watching two guys ruin their lives by cooking/selling meth). 

The last thing I will tell you is that I am so grateful to know you.  I’m not very good about calling people, I know, and for those of you who are phone folks, I apologize. But you can always find me on facebook, or through email.  Let’s hope our paths cross again soon.  Until then, warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas (sorry I missed Hanukkah!), and here’s to a new year filled with peace, love, friendship and good health. 

Mucho love to all --

P.S  Please forgive grammatical/punctuation errors -- it's Christmas! (and I wrote it in a hurry -- just like most student papers :)  )

American Taliban

 "I have seen the enemy, and he is us." (or something like that).  Who originally said that?  I suppose I could look it up...

So, in light of the past few days events -- the anniversary of 9/11, and the rioting/killing of an American diplomat and three others in Libya -- I made the mistake of engaging in a conversation with a conservative friend on facebook.  My "friend" is someone that I really don't know all that well -- we did a show together many moons ago -- but from what I know of him, he is a good guy with a big heart.  I often disagree with his posts, but he generally states his thoughts/opinions very respectfully, and I try to do the same.

His friends, on the other hand, are an entirely different breed.  Before the internet, I really had no idea that such people actually existed.  The following exchange is in response to a post my friend made about 9/11 (you know, the general conservative line about the Obama administration being weak on Islam/Muslims).  The italicized lines are as written by a friend of my conservative friend.  I've deleted his name, obviously.

We need a leader that has a pair of brass balls. We need a leader that is Christian..... We need a leader that is not afraid to call upon the christian soldiers to rise up and fight for god's biding on this earth............. God destroyed on city that was a hot bed of sin... maybe he needs to do the same in Washington DC.. is there not one good man amoung them to save that City ? ?

I then responded:
  
--thanks for demonstrating true Christian virtue. I believe in God -- I believe in a God of love -- I can't believe in a petty creator who is jealous and angry and destroys his creations. And I can't believe in any religion where believers talk about "fighting for god's bidding on this earth" (how does that kind of talk make you any different from radical Muslims?) I've seen religion do much good in the world -- I am not as adamantly against it as my partner {Onion, who is an atheist, had also responded to the post} -- but folks like you remind me all of the time why I just can't be a part of any church. My church is love. If you were truly a Christian, as you claim to be, your doctrine would be love. Just love. Let God take care of the rest. Peace to you.

.....Radical Islamist........sometimes it is necessary to kill off a group of people in order to save lives ....I believe in being a good neighbor an all that goes with it... and also the ten commandants....but when it comes to eye for an eye... I believe in if you toss a rock at me I will drop a house on you.....Back in the day if you miss behaved you were set outside of the camp or the tribe....you had your chance and then you were tossed to the wind.....today there is no moral hazard... just do as you wish and the hell with everything else..... do we really want to live this way ? ? I have given people chances and then I set them outside my camp.... I believe in being strict and swift....We are seeing a problem in the mid-east now because of our weak leadership in this government....we have a leader that is dead set on bringing this country down and is a so called Muslim extremist himself....................................... We live in rough times and in these time it calls for swift action and we have to close the camp or the borders and circle the wagons....we might have to kill our aggressors and I would do so in a heart beat....... now don't give me this holier than thou act like some brainless person that is a good follower and not a good leader..... Christians have fought for human rights and have promoted God's will on earth....for a bunch of years.... and good follower's will do so in the future.... We are in our declining years.. we must set the example for the next group of Christian leader to follow....it must include being strict and demanding respect for the elders and also follow bring the children up an teach respect....Example... children in some case's should be seen but no heard while the adults are having conversation.... speak only when spoken to............................................I could go on with this but I think I have given you enough to go on...I could go into the sins of women in marriage and how these aggressive women in society break up the homes.. the wife and I have been married for 42 years.... so we must be doing something right.... women of today are taught to be aggressive and no listen to their husbands.... there can only be one captain of the ship....and marriage was meant to be a patriarch type house hold... it has worked to 100's of years....when you marry you must take on your roll in the marriage ...just like our parents did and their parents did before.... my parents got married in 1935 and were together till mom passed in 2002.... so do the math.....it is high time to restore the old values and then stop the madness.....Weakness is not a option...action speaks a thousand words.... Love and peace and joy only go so far.... so I don't want to hear your BS on that.... when you start preaching that it shows you have no backbone... so grow and backbone and learn to stand up and let people know wher you draw the line in the sand.  

******************************************
I essentially responded to this by saying that I'm sure he's a fine husband, neighbor and friend, but if he's an example of a modern Christian, then God help us all.

Honestly, how does one respond to this kind of thinking?  How is his thinking (and I'm not saying "actions" -- not yet, anyway) any different from that of the Taliban?  

Let me be clear -- I KNOW that this guy does not speak for all Christians.  I know too many who are loving and kind, and would totally condemn this kind of thinking.  But here's the thing -- this guy is one of MANY.  He's not the first such person I've encountered through this wonderful thing called "facebook" (he's just the scariest -- I'd post his picture, but that wouldn't be right or fair).  So I can't just write this guy off as some looney living back in a cave somewhere. 

He lives right here in Ohio.  Lucky us.

One Big Happy Family

I haven't written here forever -- almost a year. I have a list of things to write about, scribbled on a post-it and stuck on a little cardboard "Fairfield Federal Savings and Loan" desk calendar that Onion's mom insists we take home with us every holiday season. But this writing thing takes time - at least for me. I'm not very quick, and by the time I sit down to write about one topic, 3 or 4 more have cropped up in my head. So, what possessed me to get back on this old blog and spend a few minutes bending your cyber-ears?

The Chick-Fil-A Incident. The Aurora shooting. The Sikh Temple shooting. Yeah, I know...you're probably tired of hearing about all of it. Tired of the debates & discussions that go nowhere. The Olympics are on, for God's sake! Can't we just rally together and watch our athletes kick some international ass and forget about the chicken and guns already?

 I can't. Actually, I literally can't, because for some strange reason DirectTV does not get local channels where we live (and "rabbit ears" antenna doesn't work -- we tried). Ofcourse, I read about what's going on online, and Onion keeps me informed (he's currently at his mom's -- he said he went to check in on her -- she's 88 and lives alone -- but I think he went because he knew he could watch the Olympics there), but I'm finding I just can't get too excited about the Olympics this time around. I know the athletes are amazing and inspiring (though somehow, sitting on the couch watching them perform amazing feats of strength, flexibility and power only makes me feel more like a slug than I usually do). I know it's good for us as a country to "come together" to cheer on our "team", but somehow it all just feels like a diversion to me. Like a desperate family vacation where we all drive off in a station wagon, determined to have fun and be a happy family, when in fact mom & dad are on the verge of divorce over dad's indiscretion with the babysitter, and Jr.'s bookmarking neo-nazi websites on his computer.

 A lot of people seem to be holding on to their guns and bibles with sweaty, fearful fists.

We can't have any kind of real discussion about guns because it automatically turns into cries of "an armed populace is the only protection against tyranny!" You can almost hear the furtive whispers around the sturdy wooden table by the hearth, where the men drink mead from steins and and stockpile weaponry,ready to grab their tri-corn hats and their muskets at a moments notice and ride into the night, crying "Freedom from tyranny!". Some people seem to live in hope of another revolutionary war, or civil war -- to die fighting for freedom! and liberty! (of course, these folks could also enlist right now, and possibly have that great honor). World War II was probably the last war that we really HAD to fight, and God knows the men and women who did performed a great and honorable service for our country and for the world. I also admire and respect any person who has fought in any of our subsequent wars, as unnecessary or as suspect as these wars may have been/might be -- I am not about to disrespect some young man or woman who wants to perform a service for their country and believes the military is the best way to do so. But as long as we as a culture continue to glorify war (and violence in general) -- as long as we insist that "might equals right" and we are indeed the Mightiest -- we're going to continue to have gun violence. Angry and alienated white guys (who are responsible for the vast majority of mass shootings) are going to continue to grab their guns and fight against their own brand of "tyranny" with a blaze of bullets.

We can't have any kind of real discussion about marriage equality because it turns into cries of "you're trampling on my religious freedom!". I was "eavesdropping" today on a facebook conversation between a friend of mine (very liberal) and one of his friends (seemingly not so liberal. Note: sometimes the newsfeed thing on facebook makes me feel a little like Harriet the Spy). The not-so-liberal friend of a friend seemed like a very nice young woman who was respectfully and earnestly trying to explain that she didn't hate homosexuals, but she follows the bible and the bible clearly says that homosexuality is an abomination. She also actually said that she didn't want to live in a secular democracy -- she wanted to live in a democracy as the "founding fathers intended" (which seemed to mean to her a democracy guided by the Christian bible). So essentially, she wants to live in a theocracy -- (but a Christian theocracy, not one of those evil Islamic theocracies). And because she -- and all of those like her -- insist on cherry-picking passages from an old, silly book (because yes, there are some lovely passages in the bible -- some truly inspirational ones -- but there's also a lot of silliness. It was written by men. Sometimes I think some parts could have been written by Monty Python) and demanding that we ALL respect certain particularly silly parts of this sometimes-inspirational book, gay folks cannot legally marry. Christians -- who are the majority -- are crying about THEIR rights? Oh please, cry me a river.

 I generally don't refer to those who are against marriage equality as "haters" -- I really don't think they "hate" homosexuals. At least, most of them don't. I think they're probably mostly very nice people who live very narrowly defined lives -- often defined by their churches and the bible and what the like-minded people around them expect them to do and be. They strive to be "normal", not really knowing what that means, and anything that falls outside of their very narrow frame of reference scares the shit out of them. They don't "get it", and that makes many of them feel angry and stupid and then really angry. And then scared that the world is changing, and they don't like it. We all get scared about stuff -- that's human. But two people of the same sex loving each other and wanting to spend their lives together? I just don't get what's so scary about that.

Frankly, marriage equality shouldn't even be a discussion -- it should just be a right. There is no valid "other side". No one is suggesting that churches must marry gay couples -- churches can go on preaching that it's a sin until the end of time if they want. No one is suggesting that Christians must personally support homosexuality (new law: all Christians must attend at least one gay wedding per year). But Christians should NOT have the right to block two consenting adults from LEGALLY marrying simply because it goes against THEIR religious beliefs. Marriage is not just a spiritual contract (and indeed, it doesn't have to be a spiritual contract to be valid) -- it is a legal contract as well. It is a legal contract primarily. It need not involve a church, or religion, at all.

 So we have one group of decent human beings who are scared, and holding on to their bibles and guns for security. And another bunch of us decent human beings who are trying to "talk these folks down", and not having a whole lotta luck. And in the meantime, we have some American Olympians kicking some ass, and Curiosity landing on Mars, and plenty of other stuff to occupy our hearts and minds. Which is great. But one of these days, the vacation is going to end, and we're going to have struggle our way through our differences. Through our fear.

 I just hope it's not during the Winter Olympics. I hope by that point to be getting local channels, and I love watching the figure skaters.

W-O-M-A-N

Whenever I read books or articles pertaining to women, there's always one big assumption -- that you're a mom. And immediately, even though the article is supposedly about women in general, I feel relegated to some inferior sub-group of "not really completely a woman" women. I have all of the parts that make me female, so I can't be a man (well, I could -- Chaz Bono did it. But that takes lots of money and surgeries and hormones, and I don't really want to have a penis or take dumps with the bathroom door open). And yet, since I haven't had the experience of pregnancy, childbirth, breast-feeding, motherhood -- the whole "most fulfilling experience of my life" shebang -- I'm not really a woman. Perhaps I'm a clever impostor? Perhaps I'm just pretending so I can have an excuse to cry at movies and wear pink clogs and talk about my "monthlies".

If I'm reading books about middle-aged women (which I am, so I am) -- which are usually written by women -- there's a tendency for the author to make statements such as "Having spent the first half of your life tending to the needs of others -- children, husband, family -- it's now time to tend to your own needs". I feel like a selfish bitch. Was that what I was supposed to be doing these past 25 years or so? Oops.

I will never know what it's like to be a mother, or a grandmother. I think I'm o.k with that, as long as I make the next half of my life pretty fucking cool.

I'm in Lima, OH.

I'm off to a good start.

Here We Are

We're all still here. The judgment day has come and gone, and all of us sinners and all of the "true believers" are still kicking up the same old dirt, sharing the same old planet.

All of the people who drive down your street in their cars with the bass turned up so high on their stereos that the buddahs you bought at World Market shake, rattle and roll on your IKEA shelves -- they're still here.

The people who seem to feel the need to talk very loudly about personal matters while in public places -- "There's something wrong with my right nipple. Yeah, I'm seeing a doctor about it next Tuesday" -- they're still here.

The women who bring their kids into gift shops and sip their Starbuck's skinny lattes and talk about their Pilates classes while their kids play hide & seek amongst the shelves of blown glass -- they're still here.

And I'm right here with them. I did not get pulled up into heaven -- a place where, according to David Byrne, "nothing ever happens", but in my mind, a place not unlike Yellow Springs, Ohio, or Asheville, NC, or maybe even parts of West Virginia (John Denver might agree) -- a place where little independent coffee shops and bookstores, artists' studios and street art and art-house movie theaters abound -- and I have the money and the time to spend at all of them. Heaven is eating baklava every day and never getting fat. Heaven is the total absence of cellulite. Heaven is a great big dance party with people who respect each other's personal space. (Yes, I am white, and a liberal, but my heaven is also a multi-cultural, diverse heaven where one can get authentic Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Mexican and soul food at any time).

No one got pulled up into heaven -- we're not getting off that easy.

Living in the crime capital of the U.S can be pretty distressing, particularly if you read the paper or watch the news (I try to do neither, but sometimes curiosity gets the best of me). Every day here, someone is murdered. Every day. Most days, there seem to be multiple murders. Many of these murders seem to be related to drug deals gone bad (I wonder how many drug deals would be described as "going exceedingly well"?). But some of them are just cruel and senseless -- heartless people who must be dead inside, preying on the elderly and the vulnerable.

The poverty-stricken, drug-addled crackheads who kill on a whim, the robber-barons of Wall Street who laugh (at us, poor saps) all the way to the bank, and all of the rest of us just trying to lead good lives -- we're all here together, whether we like it or not. We can move to other parts of the city, to the 'burbs, to other states, to other countries, to try to get away from the bad guys. But "bad guys" are everywhere, and sometimes bad guys are just good people who do bad things. We can hope that the heavens will open up and all of the good folks will be taken up, and all of the bad ones will be left to sizzle and suffer here in the hell the earth will become (what happens to the animals, though? Do they all get taken up, too, or are they just left to become bar-b-que for the sinners?). But that's not gonna happen (unless God is actually Steven Spielberg, and large space-ships appear with gentle aliens who usher kind, cuddly-looking humans into the stratosphere).

We're here, I think, to try to figure out how to make this all work -- this life, this place called Earth. There's no deus ex machina that's going to solve all of our problems, or divide us into the good and the bad. There's just us. And while I have no idea what the answer is to our problems, I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve guns or weapons, or people floating up into the sky.

The answer might, though, somehow involve a dance party.

Random Thoughts for a Snowy Day

I love snow days. I think snow is nature's way of telling us to just chill -- to relax, slow down, take note. But we don't listen very well. We insist on doing things "our way", trying to bend nature -- and everything else -- to our will. Sometimes this determination to conquer the physical world works to our advantage -- we create civilizations. We create buildings with heating and air conditioning systems. We create Snuggies (or Slankets, depending on your preference), microwaveable popcorn, instant hot chocolate and NetFlix to help us pass our snowbound evenings in a cocoon of synthetic lethargy.

Sometimes our determination to conquer the physical world works to our disadvantage -- although right now I'm too lethargic to really think of why it's a disadvantage to be warm and cozy and full of instant hot chocolate.

Wait! I just thought of why -- because when one is warm and cozy and full of instant hot chocolate, one is not apt to be at "the top of one's game". One is more apt to gain a few pounds, take a few too many naps, and wear the same clothes for days on end without showering. Which sounds a bit like depression. Or winter.

Speaking of depression, I've actually been in pretty good spirits lately, in spite of very precarious finances and recently watching the movie The Road (based on the book by Cormac McCarthy), which is one of the bleakest movies I've ever seen. It really is a well-crafted film -- the acting is superb. Watching it made me certain of one thing -- I have no desire to live through an apocalypse of any kind. Now, I don't believe this is a "spoiler", because it's brought up quite early in the film, but essentially in McCarthy's post-apocalyptic world, many people resort to cannibalism to stay alive. Onion and I have often joked that, if I was an animal, I would be prey. I do not have the "hunter" instinct (except, perhaps, when it comes to finding a bargain, or something cool in a dumpster or alley -- which I suppose could prove to be a beneficial skill when surviving an apocalypse). I have no doubt that in such a world as depicted in The Road, I would be at least a few days' meals for a pack of hungry of cannibals.

Since it's been a few months since I last posted, I feel the need to end on something more positive than the thought of being made into a stew.

So, here, watch this trailer from The Fantastic Mr. Fox -- I watched this movie (for probably the fourth or fifth time) immediately after watching The Road. It makes me immensely happy, and glad to be living in a world where I can snuggle up with my instant hot chocolate and microwaveable popcorn and watch Wes Anderson films.

Everyday People

I am fascinated by people. I love them -- I love us. I love shared moments with strangers. Not THAT kind. Not the being-felt-up-on-public-transportation kind, or the quicky-in-the-unisex-bathroom-kind (not that I would know anything about that), but more like what happened today in Target. Somewhere, a child I couldn't see was singing very loudly her own song -- the only lyrics seemed to be "I love the holiday season", which she just kept singing, making up her own melody as she went along, carefree as can be. I happened to glance up and made eye-contact with two women shopping an aisle from me -- we smiled at each other and began to laugh. It was a nice moment -- for just a minute or so, we got out of our own heads and thoughts and acknowledged something sweet and joyful happening in our midst.

I'm taking a Biology class on Saturday mornings from 9am - 2pm in preparation for a possible career change that may or not be coming down the pike depending on a bunch of variables. The class is a great mix of younger students and women my age. The class is taught by a young woman from Ireland, one of the students in the class is from England, one is from Bosnia, and one is from Nigeria (that's just the international students I know of). I've had an opportunity to chat with a number of the students -- particularly the ones around my age, and I love hearing their stories. Jackie worked on the assembly line at the Chrysler plant until they closed. She's my lab partner, and on the first day of class, she said she was scared she wouldn't be able to do this -- that it would be too hard and she just wasn't smart enough. But she stuck it out, and half-way through the semester, she's doing great. Beth is my age, and thinking of going into the same program as I am (Occupational Therapy Assistant). She came to class a few weeks ago, just two days after losing her mother to complications from diabetes, because she didn't want to miss class. Svetlana is from Bosnia, where most of her family still lives. She lives with her mother and young daughter, having lost her husband two years ago to pancreatic cancer. She told me that although she knows life would be easier for her if she moved back to Bosnia, she wants to stay in the States so that her daughter will have more opportunities.

Last night, I had the privilege of working an Indian wedding reception (one of my multiple jobs right now is working for a catering company). I say that it was a privilege because I look upon any opportunity to be a part of a different culture's traditions -- even if only in a very peripheral way -- to be a privilege. The place was full of women in beautiful, elaborate dresses and saris, and men in suits. The women seemed to mostly cluster together on one side of the room, and the men on the other. Some of the them must have been Muslim, because a group of women went up to the mezzanine level, out of the way of the drinks and hors d'oeuvre, took off their shoes, placed a tablecloth on the floor and began to pray. Soon after they finished, a large group of men came to the same place, and went through the same ritual. One man missed the prayers, and later went up to pray alone -- he asked me if I remembered which way the men faced when they prayed? I remembered, and showed him. Later, after dinner, a band of traditional musicians came to the stage and played and sang for a few hours. They wore bright tunics, and sat on the stage floor, on cushions. The music and singing was amazing. There was no dancing -- the guests pulled their chairs closer to the stage and listened and sometimes clapped along and shouted out approval (at least, that's what it sounded like to me).

If you know me (and if you're reading this blog, you do), you probably also know that I post a lot of political stuff on facebook. You know my politics (whether you want to or not). You know that I'm a liberal Democrat and I don't have a lot of love for the Republican party. But maybe what I don't say enough is that, when it comes to day to day interactions with people, politics doesn't much come into play. The strangers at Target that I shared a moment with, the women in my Biology class, the Indian/Muslim/Hindu guests at the reception -- I don't know their politics, and I don't care. They're all people -- flawed, hopeful, beautiful, sad, joyful, full of good intentions, sometimes kind and compassionate, sometimes angry and fearful. They're all trying to make their way in this world, just like me. Just like you. Might as well relax and be friendly.